When Your Toddler is Withholding Pee at Preschool: What Parents Need to Know

If your toddler never pees at daycare or preschool, you’re not alone — here’s why it happens.

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It's a message I get all the time from parents:

She’ll hold it all day at school and then have accidents in the afternoon because she just can’t hold it anymore.

You’ve done the hard work at home — your toddler’s using the potty and things are going smoothly. Then preschool or daycare starts, and you hear from the teachers:

She hasn’t peed all day.

Cue panic. It’s uncomfortable (for your child and for you.) You start to worry: could she get a UTI?

If your toddler is withholding pee at preschool, you’re not alone. This is a common — and stressful — potty training challenge for many families.

Why Your Toddler Holds Pee All Day at Preschool (and Daycare)

🚻 New Bathrooms Feel Scary

Big toilets, automatic flushers, and less privacy can overwhelm toddlers who just got comfortable at home.

🧸 Separation and control

Withholding is often a muscular response to anxiety.  Some toddlers only feel safe peeing or pooping in the potty with you. So when that separation happens, fear can trigger the toddler withholding pee at preschool. It’s a way of controlling something in a new environment.

👀 Embarrassment or shyness

Some toddlers feel self-conscious about teachers helping them or worry about other kids “watching.” I’ve also worked with parents where a teacher would do huge cheerleading praise over a successful pee — and that attention felt like pressure.  The child started holding pee at school to avoid the attention. 

⏰ Routine changes

At home you remind your child and create calm potty breaks. At preschool, the group moves together — not always ideal for a hesitant child. Kids with a slow-to-warm-up temperament often need more time to feel ready using the school potty. 

💩 Poop Withholding

Even if your child poops in the potty daily, they might still be withholding poop. A telltale sign: pooping every day after school or only pooping in a nap diaper. What often happens is then the child starts holding their pee because they’re scared of the poop sliding out. When there’s poop withholding, a poop backup puts pressure on the bladder — making it uncomfortable or even scary to pee.

From one mom in my inbox:

He pees on the potty just fine at home but has not peed on the potty at school—he’s holding it until he's wearing a pull-up at nap time.

💩 See my Poop Guide for more tips on how to get your toddler on track with pooping. You’ll learn more about poop withholding — one of the biggest reasons toddlers struggle to release at school.

Real Parent Story

(A look at what a preschool potty regression can really look like.)

Signs of Withholding Pee at Preschool (and Holding It All Day)

• Your child sits on the potty but won’t release pee during school hours.

Does this sound familiar…

Today, he held it all day until school pickup, when he went in his car seat. We've stopped prompting him, yet he still refuses to go. 

She currently only pees as a very rare accident at school or she pees in her diaper while she is asleep.

Things started off great at home! We got him a little potty that he was peeing on and things were going good for days…then we picked him up from school and he did not want to pee in the potty before he left but was screaming and crying that he had to go. 

At school, she typically holds it all day, which we know is unhealthy. We feel like we've tried EVERYTHING and nothing is working.

• Teachers say your child never uses the potty there — refuses to sit on the potty. 

This is now disrupting every aspect of his and our lives – his sleep, as well as his behavior and mood. His school has taken note and flagged it to us as well.

• Accidents happen in the afternoon or right after school pickup. It’s also common to see no pee — no releases of pee in the morning — and then a cluster of pee accidents in the afternoon.

  
  

• Your child seems uncomfortable or avoids drinking water at school. The teachers report your child is not engaging in activities, looks uncomfortable, or shows an obvious pee dance. 

• Your child soaks the nap diaper at school. Or your toddler’s in a pattern of pooping in the nap diaper at preschool. Sometimes dropping the sleep diapers helps. Here’s my nap and night training guide with support for setting up that transition.

  
  

This pattern — dry all day, then accidents at home — is classic toddler holding pee at preschool behavior.

If you’ve been wondering how to stop your toddler from holding pee at daycare, it helps to start with calm, consistent steps at home and school.

Why It Matters

Holding pee for too long can lead to:

• Physical discomfort and crankiness.

• Bigger accidents that reinforce fear — it doesn’t feel good to have a bursting pee.

• Increased risk of urinary tract infections (UTIs).

• Holding pee during the day can disrupt sleep, too — see my night training guide for nighttime potty issues that can show up.

  
  

That’s why pee withholding at preschool isn’t just a phase to ignore — it’s worth addressing early.

First Steps You Can Take

Try these gentle strategies (without adding pressure):

• Normalize the bathroom. Visit the preschool potty together during pickup or drop-off when the room is quiet.

• Teacher teamwork. Ask staff to offer calm, private reminders instead of group potty trips at first if your child does better with privacy. If your toddler does better following peers, ask to pair them with a potty buddy to model and normalize using the school bathroom.

• Practice routines. Role-play “preschool potty time” at home so it feels familiar.

• Stay positive. No bribes or punishment — bribing only heightens control battles.

  
  

But here’s the truth: preschool potty withholding usually doesn’t resolve with quick fixes alone. It’s often part of a larger pee and poop withholding cycle that needs a more personalized plan.

You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone

I’ve helped thousands of families navigate potty training setbacks — including pee withholding at school.

• Start with my post on how to help your child release pee in the potty for practical pee release tricks.

• For more structured help, check out the course I co-created with Jamie Glowacki, author of Oh Crap Potty Training: Oh Crap How to Potty Train With Daycare and Preschool — it includes a full section on pee holding at preschool.

• And if your child is holding all day or clearly distressed, you may need direct support. My Withholding Plan gives you personal support to break the pee (and poop) withholding cycles.

With the right support, your child can get comfortable peeing and pooping at preschool — and you can stop stressing about those “no pee today” teacher updates.